I’d like to believe that I’m quite fortunate. At my age, I’ve exposed myself to so much emotions, experiences, and circumstances that have – like a fermenting wine – mature my way of thinking and the manner in which I make my decisions in life.
Don’t get me wrong. Like every imperfect individual, I still have my trivial perspectives; and I’m proud to admit that. However, more than anything else, I believe that every experience has taught enormous lessons that ferment every bottle until it’s at its peak of enjoyment.
My most recent decision is a case-in-point. I had a wonderful relationship with a very special someone for almost 10 months. Prior to the relationship, I just came out of another relationship of pure bliss – the kind that blinds you precisely because it seemed so perfect (this is a separate blog all-together J). Coming from this premise – the blissful relationship – I sought for ‘reality.’ My famous line was “don’t give me someone perfect, give me someone real.”
“Real” for me means the acceptance of what love is – that it is not merely the enjoyment of that perfect-blissful-moment, but it’s also the territory of accepting the flaws of the other party, and being able to surpass them together, as the relationship grows.
Surprisingly, it happened; or so I thought.
I had a wonderful relationship with Mr.real – there was no bullshit… people had their separate identities which tried to compromise as it blended-in the relationship. Take note of what I said, “compromise” and not “alter.” However, there was a problem with the set up of my relationship with Mr. Real. I wanted something which was acceptable; he wanted something else which was also acceptable. In the end, it didn’t work out because we wanted two different things which were not necessarily wrong… just different. I broke it off because I thought it was the mature thing to do, as much as it was the right thing to do.
As expressed always by the great vine, break-ups are never easy, even towards the one who called it quits.
Again, I charge this to experience, and hope both parties get the fundamental moral of the story. After all, life goes on.
As a surprising twist in my life-story’s plot, here I am again, back in the market (so to speak). I went out in a club with a friend, and it hit me again… “I’m back to square-one.” It was exciting, it was frightening…
It was real.
Then, with some divine turnaround, I met someone. I haven’t spoken to my best bud Gym, but I think he’ll agree with me when I say that my life seems to colour itself effortlessly.
I got a glimpse of this special someone at a party few months back. We were interestingly, never introduced; yet, we have a gazillion common friends. I thought that it was just going to be a matter of time until we were to be introduced, so I let it pass. True enough, there was an event which served as an avenue in which a dear friend got to introduced him to me. I heard from that same friend that he had left the event, and bids me a friendly goodbye. I naturally blushed and aggressively asked our friend to challenge him by giving my mobile and by asking him to bid me farewell directly. He did not.
The following day, and with the age of technology, I searched him on friendster. True enough, there he was and I searched on. Apparently, users can view whoever viewed their profiles. Unaware of this feature, I was surprised when he sent me a private message through the medium. Our correspondences started from there, until we got hold of each other’s yahoo messenger ids.
Then, I was in unfamiliar territory: we became friends.
We would talk about work, projects, personal nothings, and respective backgrounds and it was fun.
Then, I had this ‘thing’ in Embassy, where I was left with nobody to come with, so I asked him to go with me, and again, as friends, we got to know more of each other.
At a pivotal instance in our lives, the friendly relationship turned to something deeper, when it was appropriately possible. Since that moment, he has never stopped making me feel special – from grand gestures unto the little sweet nothings which poke a wee of happiness because someone appreciates you.
I shared these wonderful stories to my close friends in detail at a recent gathering. One memorable story is the part wherein we went karaoke with his friends. There was an instance where lights dimmed and time came to a halt, and we were just staring at each other’s eyes with the pureness of intentions and the depth in emotions. The old me would say “this is it,” the more knowing JC would say “this definitely is someone worth investing my heart with.”
You see, when a person invests his heart, he gives every opportunity for that other party to bring him joy, and more then anything else, he gives him every opportunity to hurt him —- precisely because you chose to leap in the hopes that you fall in love.
Being that I just came out of a relationship, we’re trying to take it slow because:
- he does not deserve to be my rebound;
- and because the mature thing to do is to be sensitive to the people concerned.
However, I’d like to share how happy I am to have met this special someone. He has made me feel so special in my life, and I could only hope to be making him feel the same way, if not more.
I feel it so much, and I yearn for that moment where we could say those three words, and break free. I yearn for that moment where I can elevate our relationship to the next level, and grow more with him.
I yearn for that perfect moment where everything will be all right, simply because I have him.
I am so grateful for so many things, but more than anything else, I’m grateful that I’m so blessed with a life that goes wrong, and naturally becomes colourful once again. A man of wisdom would say that with every additional colour, we see a better picture. I pray and wish that this type of outlook can be shared by my loved ones. After all, life’s full of surprises.
